So I was reading a few cute internet articles, wasting time while I wake up (I am *not* a morning person, so I stick to the shallow end of the mental pool until I get a little more blood sugar feeding my brain in the mornings) and I came across something titled "10 Reasons Why You Should Never Date a Geek"
Now, I'm not expecting anything too cerebral from a website called "The Gloss", but like I mentioned, it takes a while for my brain to boot up in the mornings, so I do tend to enjoy mindless fluff...this only qualified for half. It wasn't fluff, but it was pretty mindless. I started to reply, but then I found myself writing an entire essay
and decided it needed to go somewhere other than the little reply box. So here is my reply to the 10 reasons why Brandy Alexander
shouldn't be dating anyone, let alone a geek:
Goodness, you are the shallowest person I've wasted the energy to comment on. My overall impression after reading your ten points was that you shouldn't be dating *anyone* until you figure out why you want to date in the first place. More specific responses:1. They never go to bed.
He'd rather be on their laptop instead of on you.
If you can't understand the difference between going to bed and having sex, you've got problems. I hardly ever end up having sex *at bedtime* because you know, we go to bed when we're sleepy. Sleepy is not conducive to good sex, let alone mind-blowing sex, because there's that whole *tired* factor getting in the way. Maybe you're dropping hints when you should realize that most geeks don't catch hints...on the other hand, if you just *said* you wanted to have sex, I'm fairly sure the computer would get dropped in a heartbeat. (Unless, of course, you were stupid enough to say this in the middle of heavy fighting of a guild raid, 'cause that's just RUDE.)2. They actually consider relationship KPIs.
What's a KPI? It's a key performance indicator, a term you felt obligated to Google on your second date when he asked you what KPIs you're tracking to measure his success as a potential suitor.
*Everybody* considers KPI's. They just don't call them that or actually *admit* it, let alone talk honestly about what they're judging each other on. Don't you hate it when you think something's going well, and your date says to you at the end of the night that they think it's just not going to work out? Umm...based on what, exactly? See, I may have a fascinating conversation with someone over the course of an evening, and have no interest in going to bed with them, let alone spending day after day with them. If there was no laughter, then there was no long-term prospects. I *need* a partner I can laugh with. And that's something I'm up front and honest about - is it a KPI? Yes, yes, it is. I've never heard the term before today, but everybody *has* them. Geeks are just into HONEST interaction. It saves time and pain for everyone.3. They're always checking their email
Normal guys have mobile addiction problems, but they learn to stifle the constant buzz of their BlackBerries and the glow of their iPhones. Geeks, however, just can't tear themselves away from their email. Is it the awe of constant communication or the mystique of the bug reports? If only he would CC your feelings more often.
It's not that geeks are addicted to the internet. It's that geeks have superspeed brains and they need to be kept entertained. I've had to train every person I ever lived with that if I'm reading or on the computer (or reading ON the computer, which is frequent these days with eBooks), it does not mean that you shouldn't talk to me...because reading is my default. If I'm not doing anything else, I'm reading. I am INCAPABLE of sitting and not doing anything. I can't do it. I start twitching. When commercials come on the TV show we're watching together, if one of us doesn't start talking right away? My tablet gets turned on and I read the next few pages of the book I was reading while waiting fot the show to come back on. If you'd actually tell your geek date that you wanted to talk about something, he'd likely listen...but when the silence drops when you finish a topic? The phone will come out, because his brain is whirring with a thousand things more interesting than just staring into your eyes, no matter how pretty they might be.4. They're always checking in.
Are you on Facebook Places? Lame. Hold on one sec, he's busy checking in on Foursquare, on GetGlue, on Sonar, on SoundTracking, on Tumblr, on Instagram, on Google , on Klout, on GitHub...
How exactly is this complaint different from #3?5. They dress like Mark Zuckerberg.
He can't make money like Mark Zuckerberg, but he can certainly dress like him. He sports a new start-up shirt everyday, partially covered up by the same navy zip hoodie. What's Aviary? A super comfortable tee-shirt, and also a photo editing platform or something something.
You know, I just can't come up with a witty criticism of this one. Because honestly? If you're criticizing clothing choices, then you definitely should not be dating a geek. You don't have the mental capacity to appreciate anything below skin level, and I feel sorry for you. Now, if you wanted to complain about a horrible habit of dressing like Dumbledore - ridiculously bright colors or things that hurt your eyes just by existing - then there might be something worth responding to here. But seriously? You're complaining about a MALE who dresses in jeans and T-shirts?? You're describing every male I've ever known...except for the gay ones. Okay, and the ones who have jobs that require suit and tie, yes, but I mean when they go home and get COMFY. Suit and tie business guy in my office? Wears jeans & T-shirts when he's cycling to and from work, so I'm pretty comfortable in saying that's what he wears a lot of the time at home, too. Gay guys? Mostly only wear T-shirts if they're cute or sexy. Comfy is reserved for pajamas.6. They won't stop talking about coding.
Do you know what a variable is? An API? UX? UI? Just forget it. He's got to talk about this product and he's got to talk about it now. Forget your UTI, he'll get a specialist to fix that ish.
So...are the only geeks you know programmers? Because my geek is more likely to talk about rewiring amplifiers, the pros and cons of different guitar electronics, or what computer hardware he's looking at upgrading our systems with. He doesn't code. But he IS the guy all our friends go to when trying to get supposedly plug-and-play components to actually RUN. He's an electricity geek, not a programming geek.
But this issue of yours is a great place to address my overall impression of your "article"*. You should not be dating until you figure out WHY you want to date someone. If you want honest companionship, then you need to find someone who has similar interests to you, because clearly you're not interested in caring about anyone else's interests besides your own. If you just want sex, then quit trying to have a relationship with a geek and just ask them for sex. I'm sure most of them would be happy to oblige!
*(I'm sorry, but 10 pictures of Zuckerburg and 20 accompanying sentences is not an article. It's not even enough text to qualify as coherent rambling.)7. They trash talk websites so much so you can't send any links.
You legitimately thought "37 Pictures of Puppies Running Toward Kittens" was a worthy read. See those photos of super cute dogs? NO, he only sees bugs.
Aiyi...If you think pictures of puppies is something a geek is going to be interested in, I refer you back to my response to number 6 - why bother having a relationship with someone if you're NOT going to bother to learn anything about them or what they're interested in? You know, if I find a great fanfic with professional quality writing, excellent characterization, an intriguing plot and an amazing twist at the end worthy of M. Night Shyamalan? I am *not* going to send that link to my partner. I've got like three geeky friends who'd love to read it, but my geek guy isn't one of them. I also know who to send the adorable pictures of puppies to...and there's only one friend on the overlap between the fanfic readers and the cute puppy likers. Again, neither is my geek guy. But an amazing article on electronics, an intriguing article on politics, news on new science? *Those* I would send to my geek guy - even if it's an article I only scanned because I'm really not interested in that - because I know *he* is interested in it. Of course, I would add a comment in the email along the lines of, "I haven't read this, but the topic sounded like something you might like. Let me know if it's any good!"8. They spend too much time at all-night hackathons.
You're beginning to suspect that these "all nighters" are with "coders" who "understand" him are, in fact, just sluts. And you will throw bitches fucking down before he cheats on you with a bunch of hypothetical sluts.
::blinkblink:: Okay, you're seriously missing something about most geeks - what they SAY is actually what they MEAN. Until you learn that key item, I'd suggest you keep your dating in the shallow end of the gene pool. Of course, maybe if you had the intelligence to keep their attention for more than a minute (and judging by your complaints on items 1, 3, and 4, you haven't managed that) then you wouldn't have something to *worry* about. Otherwise, you're just coming across as a jealous bitch who needs to get her own life so she'd understand when other people actually *have* one and dating someone (or even marrying them!) does not mean that you get to summarily tell them to stop having their own life.9. They brag.
He dates you over Facebook, he proposes over YouTube, he Pinterests your wedding, he infographs your pregnancy, he Instagrams your childbirthing. He would even blog your separation.
Okay, this would be more of a valid complaint if I weren't quite sure that you do the same damn thing on the phone to your girlfriends. And honestly? If you made it through the FB dating and YouTube proposal, why were you surprised at the Pinterest wedding? And you have *no* reason to complain about the rest, because you should have known by then that that's how he was. Never, EVER marry somebody thinking they'll change. Marry somebody that you like the way they ARE.10. Sometimes you feel like they're only interested in evaluating your back end.
He's so smart, but he's sooo shallow.
And you're only interested in evaluating his clothing choices? What, a smart guy isn't allowed aesthetic appreciation of your body? Geez, when somebody evaluates my back end, I smile and feel pretty. Of course, if they can't talk to me and keep me entertained when I'm facing them, then they won't get any more to appreciate than the window dressing, but that doesn't mean I'm going to criticize anyone for appreciating a body. (If they're *not* appreciative of your body, you're going to have problems with the whole sex-thing, I gotta warn you.)
In summary, I go back to my initial paragraph. You shouldn't be dating *anyone* until you figure out what you want in a partner and why you're dating in the first place. Based on your commentary, I can't understand why you were attracted to a geek in the first place, unless you just decided to pick one up because an internet article told you to. Yeah, that seems about your level of cogitation.
Get a life outside of judging people. And then maybe someone will be interested in sharing it with you.